When I was many years younger I don’t think I knew what it was truly like to feel loved and accepted. I knew my parents loved me but I don’t think they knew how to show it. I was so desperate for love and affection and acceptance and that feeling of peace and safety that we all long for. I grew up in a dysfunctional family and there wasn’t much peace in that house. I found this love and acceptance in and with other people that God had placed around me at that time, and although I was well into my teens by then, I was still like a little child, hungry for that love and peace, and the space to just be myself and not feel any tension or that I just didn’t meet up to certain standards.
I think this was probably the point at which I transferred my need onto the people that were close around me, not in a horrible ‘needy’ way, but in my dependence on them and feeling secure by them being in my life. And, if they were there for me I guess I felt that acceptance and love that I was craving for…
Perhaps at those times in my life when I felt people may have let me down and walked away from what they had at first given the impression that they cared then maybe that equaled me not being loved or rejection. Even if you grew up in a peaceful loving caring environment, the longing and need in us can be the same…
When the ‘balance’ in your life has been all topsy turvy, especially in the areas of love and peace and acceptance, then many times people will react in all sorts of ways, perhaps similar to how I did and as we grow up we learn the dynamics that are going on in our life, in our world and inside us and then we can ‘right the balance’…
~Cam Richmond~
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